Question No. 174: What is the ruling of the one who has good relations with the people (outside) but is of bad character in his home, easily angered? May Allah reward you with goodness.
Answer No. 174: What is compulsory on a woman and what we advice her with is to be good to her husband, because he faces many problems, unbelievable problems. Yes, by Allah! He faces the problems of sustenance, problems of liabilities and other problems. So, it is incumbent on her if he enters upon her, she should be good to him. She should emulate Khadeejah radi Allahu anha when the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam came to her and complained to her, “I fear that something would happen to me,” and she said to him, “Nay by Allah! Allah will never disgrace you, you keep good relations with your kin, you help all,” and she mentioned something of the character of the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam and I advise the righteous woman to be good to her husband.
There are problems that the husband is faced with outside the home, perhaps she (the wife) is not aware of them, but if he faces problems from the wife also and she is a bad housemate, then by Allah, it is a very, very bad situation.
Despite all these, we advise the man to be patient, if the woman is chaste but of bad character, we advise him to be patient, and if he is able let him marry another wife, so she (the second wife) would calm her (the first) down, and what the first wife doesn’t know, she does read nor write, and the second one can read and write. So, the first one can take her notebook and go and learn the writing and reading. And if it is the case (that he is alone), then he must calm her down alone and Allah’s aid is sought.
Source: “Last Journey of Imam Muqbil Ibn Hadee Al-Wadee” By His wife, Umm Salamah As.Salafiyah
Translated by brother Abu Humairah
Slight editing by Nasrin As.Salafiyah
PDF HERE: http://www.scribd.com/ doc/98739681/Be-Kind-Ya- Husband-amp-Wives - includes full arabic page of the book as well.